Do you tend to feel safe or the world is full of dangers? Safe is on everyone’s lips lately. Keep safe, stay safe, be safe. So I asked myself, what does it actually mean, to be safe.
Safe’s definition is actually “being protected from or not exposed to danger or risk; not likely to be harmed or lost” (lost?). It seems to me at least, people have very varied and different perceptions of safety, very much depending on where they live, how they were brought up and specific cultural and individual traits.
I was reading that having a stroll at night is considered unsafe in Johannesburg and If you are gay, it might be risky to date other men in Riyadh. But then, some people love a bit of risk, it makes life more exciting, a bit of naughtiness could be just an exploration of authenticity and independence.
Is drinking 2 bottles of wine a week safe, how about having a puff?
Some folks publicly dare to speak out when they feel their boundaries have been crossed, others blush in embarrassment and keep quiet. Depending on culture and parenting style, children might be encouraged to colourfully express feelings of joy, amusement and inspiration. You might feel the world is a safe place and love solo sailing, free climbing, cave diving, couch surfing. Or rather spend the weekend at home watching Netflix or shopping at the mall.
A bit like actuaries in an insurance company, risk managers in banks need to minimize, monitor, and control the probability or impact of “unfortunate” events. Or to maximize the realization of opportunities. From safety, to risk, to… opportunities! Indeed, mitigating risk will likely, or inevitably, limit opportunities. Investors use risk/reward ratios to compare the expected returns of an investment with the amount of risk they must undertake to earn these returns. Maybe you invest in the stock market, bitcoin or keep your cash safe in a saving account.
I love how everything goes back to a wheel, a continuum. More open to opportunities, more open to risk. To play it safe, you have to protect, close, ring fence, contain and ultimately give up on opportunities.
Maybe you value a romantic relationship and are prepared to risk rejection and abandonment to achieve it. Is keeping a guarded heart “safer”? The opposites at play, dualism, the Yin & Yang always manifested in the world. I suppose it’s a matter of balance.
Is the habit of eating pringles or doritos safe, feeding processed cereals to your 5 years old?
I recently interviewed an Englishman who travelled by wide long boat up the Amazon river for 4 days to reach a far away village bordering the (sometimes bellicose) uncontacted tribes. He spent time with the Huni Kuin tribe, seeking to connect with frogs and learn the ancient shamanic healing practice of Kambo.
How about long term travel in South America, Tinder hookups, driving a car or a motorbike?
I once met a 70 years old Israeli man on the Annapurna trail in Nepal, close to completing a 20 days hike up to 4500m above sea level. Are you a Gandhi, a Christopher Columbus, a Marco Polo, or have been working at the local post office, saving for retirement? I was chatting to a friend the other day, he’s working in a safe public sector job and dreams to be an artisan carpenter building and refurbishing sailing boats. Risky switch, with 2 children to feed, he complained.
I am no James Bond either, don’t worry, I fret sometimes, I fear the unknown, I like to feel safe and seek the comfort of a familiar, friendly environment. I like to see myself as independent and even courageous at times, but also like validation and need social identity and recognition (Love & Belonging, Esteem in Maslow’s terms). Swaying away from the mainstream might be creative, interesting, fun but not always safe.
Major worries tend to group around domains such as relationships, finances, work and health, and these reflect anxieties triggered by factors related to love and marital status, loneliness, poverty, unemployment, economic status, and disability.
It seems high status people have more serotonin, feel better or less anxious than low status ones, read it here. Do you feel safer against judgement when you check your time on a Cosmograph Daytona Rolex, or an iPhone 13? If typing away on an Asus laptop in a trendy East London cafe would give you the chills, you better spend some money and acquire the status a MacBook Pro grants you.
I think what is dangerous and what is safe is a philosophical, cultural and ultimately psychological question, related to each individual.
In the Big 5 personality traits theory, people relate to the world with more or less openness and associated attitudes to risk taking.
• Openness to experience: this includes aspects such as intellectual curiosity and creative imagination.
• Conscientiousness: people who are very good with organization, productiveness, responsibility.
• Extroversion & Introversion: sociability, assertiveness; or opposite traits.
• Agreeableness: compassion, respectfulness, trust in others.
• Neuroticism: tendencies toward anxiety and depression.
It seems most of our personality is formed in the first years of childhood. Trauma and negative experiences in adult life will always influence the way we perceive the world though. Relative to pretty much any past era, someone could argue we inhabit a very safe world and enjoy a long life expectancy, despite the struggles of chronic disease, modern psychological & lifestyle related illness.
The mighty Media and its cultural engineers have a large influence on the way we feel. Fear as a weapon has been used for centuries to weaken and manipulate. Ever heard of moral panics? They arise when distorted mass media campaigns are used to create fear, reinforce stereotypes and exacerbate pre-existing divisions.
I consider myself a rational person and as much as I like to feel safe, I won’t give up my all life for a the illusion of security. I am not sure you like George Carlin, as he explains it better than I could ever do. Philosophy and culture, alongside personality and individual predispositions made me open to travel, experience, fall in love, change career and move to Thailand.
I don’t run my life like an insurance company and I’m mostly off fear mongering news and toxic social media trolling. Applying rationality to life’s risk management, I consume no alcohol, tobacco or junk food, the biggest documented risks of early death. As much as I was a fast downhill skier, I now love riding a motorbike, climbing up the Khao Ra waterfall in Koh Phangan and expressing my model of the world through this blog. I am a spiritual being with a soul.
I end this with Earl Nightingale’s quote: “Most people tiptoe their way through life, hoping they make it safely to death.” Oh yeah, we are safe in the knowledge that, whatever this experience of life might be, in this current form at least, it will come to an end. Particularly as I get older, I hate passing on opportunities for connection, personal growth, joy, love and presence. Always keeping safe is not in my culture or philosophy.