Obsessive thoughts and compulsions don’t make for a good life. Some of the beneficial states of mind I truly love instead are daydreaming and flow, beside being immersed in meditation. I almost stopped daydreaming when I moved to London and started a working life. Something changed inside me, I am not sure what but positive daydreaming is back and I truly enjoy it again. I find myself sitting in a cafe, looking out the window, or riding my motorbike immersed in some story or future projection, where I have achieved a difficult project and I am doing all sorts of smart and proper things. In a state of daydreaming I am loved, accomplished, successful and life is always good.
As human beings we have a desire to expand, to be more than ourselves, to feel whole, full and connected. This yearning for more is natural, even beautiful as very much part of what we are. I came to realise it needs to be focused on healthy pursuits and balanced with inner growth. Acquiring materially is only half of the picture and focusing on material success or expansion is important but not enough, particularly when that means shopping or other short lived consumerist pursuit instead of a long term project or goal.
Inner growth through meditation, energy work and mindfulness is very much needed to fulfil this need for expansion, to grow the soul. I do this as a daily ritual for a calmer mind, more presence, less obsessive or negative thinking.
Besides that, I truly enjoy being in the flow, a feeling of connected presence which is distinct from daydreaming or mindfulness. An antidote to depression, anxiety and a scattered mind, if you are flowing you are completely engaged, fully immersed in whatever you are doing. No mind activity can take you away from that absorbed, heightened awareness. Not a chore you are supposed to do later or a guilty memory intruding to spoil the moment.
I am coming out of meditation, on a rock overlooking a small lush green valley with the sound of the waterfall. It’s a familiar place and yet it takes me a few seconds to fully realise or remember where I am. I was gone, for a little while, I was not “there”, lost in internal energy movements, tingling sensations and distant thoughts. My senses need to re-adapt to the environment, the external world. I turn my head left as a beautiful black parrot takes off from a nearby tree top, I look right and a butterfly lands on my shoulder, exactly as the cicadas start their raucous sound again. I am in perfect synchronicity with everything around me, a part of Nature itself. It is incredible, satisfying and very real to me.
Flow carries a different feeling to meditation, a distinct texture. Similarly to meditating, when I flow the concept of passing time doesn’t apply, the future, the past are gone, I am in the present. Everyone experiences states of flow, the more the better, the more intense, longer and absorbing the experience of the moment, the happier you become.
One hour spent on a captivating part of a novel is a great way to use time. Flow is even more fulfilling though, because you are actively doing something that also requires some skills.
5 sets of san-salutation, perfectly done with synchronised breathing, is flow for me. Writing this blog post gives me moments of flow. What’s nicer than making love? Through years of Tantric Yoga practice, the experience of love making has gradually and often become more and more prolonged and satisfying. The senses are all enveloped in the exploration of the moment and the energy of the union as it involves another human being, it’s a shared experience of expansion. The feeling of amplification, of being more than just one, is physical as well as emotional and energetic.
Union is a translation of Yoga itself, connection, wholeness, alignment of body, mind and spirit. States of flow can be experienced during physical activity, team sport like football or volleyball, dancing, artistic or creative endeavours and meaningful skilled work.
I love improv theatre as it is a wonderful way to embody the present, calm the mind and create a character, a collective scene in unison with others on stage and in front of an audience. Ahead of a new sketch, I feel my body yearning to move, the coming of inspiration and ready awareness. If I am a policeman arresting a thief, I feel the power of authority, the righteousness of the law and totally embody it with a puffed up chest, a strong, loud and commanding voice. The following scene might see me as a crying child begging for mummy’s attention, or an elderly lady on a wheelchair. All provide drama, comedy and laughter, communion and states of flow I thoroughly enjoy. The energy stays with me for the rest of the day, a warm and soft joy of fullness, satisfaction and inner expansion.
Talking about consciousness is never easy. There is no scientifically established truth around the way I, or you feel as it is indeed very personal. Happenings of connection and absorption in one element are common, can be expressed in words and shared when the involvement is collective. Particularly as a kid I experienced the exciting tension of Champions League or World Cup finals on TV, shared with seemingly absorbed friends and family. My team winning provided a form of feel good and positive expansion of the ego, the appearance of being more.
How much do we love our rational thinking mind in Western culture? Cogito ergo sum, I think therefore I am. Do “I” think, though. Through meditation and other types of self inquiry, I realised thoughts come to me out of nowhere, mysteriously. I am more likely the passive object, rather than having any real control over them. I can quiet the mind, suppress all thinking for a short while but “they” appear soon again. As Nietzsche once stated, “I don’t think, “it thinks” wherein the “it” could be an impersonal subject, not me at all”.
It sounds strange but I perceive thought and mind in less positive terms these days. Particularly when in an absent minded situation stress, limiting beliefs and negative self-chattering can creep in, that feeling of lacking or not being enough, a compulsive desire to expand might find the form of unhealthy food, anything that can fill the hole. When in that state I am easy game to external triggers, a piece of news or a social media comment can trigger a negative emotional reaction, provide a minute of misery.
Knowing the cultural conditioning I came through, the many years of moulding my brain and personality have endured, I am a lot more than my thoughts, rationality and personas, even if they are an important identification for me. I have a soul and a daily practice taking care of my soul expansion through rituals and routines, regularly seeking states of flow. Daydreaming is more of a gift, the cherry on the cake I sometimes get when I feel good and calm, whole and satisfied.
Being “in the zone” means letting go of worries, forgetting about guilt and regrets, feeling of scarcity and insufficiency. I do not agree with Mr. Descartes here, for me it’s not so much about thinking. I flow therefore I am, that’s when I am fully alive, when the magic of life really happens.