“Carpe diem” seize the day, and “Forever is composed of nows”. The ability to delay pleasure greatly exemplified in the “Marshmallow test”, and “The meek will inherit the Earth”. Who is right here? Should we be living in the now and then and for the moment or delay pleasure and sacrifice the moment for something greater later in life, or even, something good in the afterlife?
These contrasting ideas on how we should live in the context of the inevitable passing of time are really interesting to me. Like the chicken and egg dilemma, how to live in the present vs planning for the future is a fundamental question for every human being.
Do you have a retirement fund? A solid insurance plan? Maybe you are thinking you will, one day, feel whole and satisfied after many decades of work and dedication, drawing a comfortable pension and having time for hobbies, travel and yourself.
Or maybe you are an adventurous type, a traveller and a creative. I know many people in Koh Phangan who flow through life. They tend to be minimalists with few family or work responsibilities and enjoy the freedom of a lifestyle with little attachments. Connection with Nature is the ultimate luxury, simple food and a laugh over a beer or a cappuccino are sources of pleasure. Fun activities might include skinny dipping with a lover at midnight, passionately debating the benefits of permaculture or baking a vegan cake.
Who is right, who is wrong. We are all different and an open and modern society allows people to manifest the way they feel. Lifestyle choices are varied these days and thank goodness. Whatever we do in life we do it because we feel compelled to and, relatively speaking, we do it because we feel it is the best thing for us or the right thing to do. Culture and the legal system set the limits of right and wrong, everything else is up to us.
Some people love to plan for the future, they have quite precisely articulated and set goals, with deadlines. I want to be married by 30. I will be a managing director by 40. Modern society is a mighty achievement, developed over many years with the hard work and long term focus of millions of people. Rome wasn’t built in a day, it took a lot of ambition and dedication to build it. Powerful emperors spent time and resources to raise the colosseum, which at the time was an architectural fit and took around a decade and the forced contribution of 60,000 slaves to complete. The effort to survive, at an individual and group level manifests in attempts to create long lasting structures, legacies and, very importantly, descendants.
Space missions started in the 50s and took until 1969 to land a man on the moon. How about that as a long term goal? The Concorde or the Airbus A380 were marvels of technology and took planning, cooperation and a lot of long term dedication to pull off.
Buddhists accept that everything changes, things are not permanent and all is temporary. In Greek philosophy, Heraclitus introduced the doctrine of panta rhei (everything flows). Marcus Aurelius was quoted to say “Bear in mind that everything that exists is already fraying at the edges, and in transition, subject to fragmentation and to rot.” Is any effort towards permanence even worth it, in this context? The Concorde is already retired and it seems the Airbus A380 might be next.
Yet the instinct to survival is so powerful in humans, so primal. Aren’t children a way for us to continue to live in the future? The expression of an extended life and of long term planning. Our DNA, culture and society is preserved and continued through our offspring. I believe kids possibly are the longest term investment anyone will ever make in an uncertain future. The kind of sacrifice, work and dedication children require is a pure act of love and our lives are our parents’ true gift. Thanks mum and dad for your long term view and hard work to feed, teach and bring up my brother and I. The love and sense of meaning we gave you is small change in comparison to what we received.
It’s 6.30pm and I descend the stairs towards the London underground to travel 45 minutes home. I had a productive day at work and feel calm and satisfied, if a bit tired. It’s sunset in Koh Phangan, beautifully slim, half naked people of all ages and nationalities gather on Zen beach to meet, mingle and celebrate the end of another day in paradise. Sauna and ice bath tonight? Mmm, I was thinking to go for a massage and ecstatic dance, wonna come?