Do you have a gorgeous lean body, regular features, a killer look? We all carry some gifts, certain predispositions and tend to identify more with what we like of ourselves, what appeals to others, what’s above average.
Attention is a form of energy we receive. To attract the interest of fellow human beings can be validating, comforting, a sign of acceptance, a form of love. Appeal can bring connections, favors, benevolence and pleasure. When you have what others want and admire, this might manifest in greater opportunities, it’s a sort of power.
A great young body, shining, lustrous hair, a rosy, healthy glow and a gorgeous smile are irresistible to many and can be a source of joy and satisfaction indeed.
Identifications are illusory though and the aging process will necessarily tarnish the attractiveness of looks alone.
If you are capable in business, you might identify with your profession, your company or commercial endeavors. Your job title might be Managing Director, Partner or Vice President, your power suit and carefully crafted corporate persona a source of status, respect and admiration.
To be successful in business, people sacrifice time, effort, sometimes intimacy and quality moments with friends and family. It requires intellectual acumen but also an ability to spot opportunities, to take risks, a skill for deal making, an ability to collaborate, serious focus and stamina.
Success in this realm brings money, position, respect, clout and consideration from others, again, it’s a form of power. The trappings of success might include a large home, a sports car, and various other status symbols people might also identify with.
Spiritual and philosophical traditions including Buddhism and Stoicism frown upon the seeking of material success or the attachment to material possessions, because they are ultimately outside of our control.
“Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan” – John F. Kennedy. A turn of events, a stock market crash, a round of redundancies can end a career, sink a business, wipe out a fortune.
If you are an artist, an actor or entertainer, you might be drawn to the trance of performance, the fleeting moment of god-like creation, the passion induced in the audience, the cheers and final applause or standing ovation. Ego can be sensitive and fragile in artists and demands a delicate balance between humility and hubris.
Others think themselves smart and identify with the realm of the mind, the intellect. Mathematics, physics, philosophy can bring awe-inspiring realizations, epiphanies and insight. There’s pride in being well read and articulate, good at speech or writing, capable of sublime logic and complex analysis.
In the day to day physical world we seem to inhabit, we have bathed for decades in cultural norms and behaviors, our psyche works off semi-automated and highly conditioned mental reactions, we are the product of society.
Getting away from it all is rather hard or impossible, the unraveling of attachment is therefore momentary, ephemeral too. The ego is very tricky and constantly shifts from identification to identification, desiring attention, validation or reward in more or less disguised forms.
Some people are natural helpers, they reach out to others with empathy and concern. They see themselves as good and moral, find pain and suffering everywhere and want to rectify this, want “the best” for everyone, to save the world. How frustrating might it be when a selfless gift is rejected, the advice refused, the victim is not cooperating with the rescuer.
What do you like to identify with? A personal trait or characteristic, a romantic relationship, your role as parent or breadwinner to your children. The collective pride felt when supporting a group, a nationality, an ideology or the cheering for a football team.
Identifications ultimately help form a sense of belonging, a bond to something we can be loyal to, a reason to live for. Identifications bring meaning, an antidote to nihilism.
In Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, the harshest possible conditions were brought upon innocent people in concentration camps. The Nazi attempted to totally annihilate the body, mind and soul of the inmates and induced in the author an intense desire to survive.
The in-the-moment bearing of suffering, the basic attempt to overcome hardship can be meaningful, it can become the primary motivational force, a new type of identification. And a very useful one indeed.
A wonderful model of personal development and human motivation is offered by the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs. First we need to, at least partially, feel the achievement of personal and group esteem, alongside a durable sensation of being loved, the sense of fulfillment and security originated from belonging to a group. We might then be naturally ready and predisposed to seek the expression of creativity, authenticity and spirituality.
This could lead to the achievement of frequent peak experiences, mystical connections with the whole, the temporary transcendence of the ego, moments of joy, bliss and intense satisfaction. These awesome feelings will last, in a lesser but more organic form, after the passing of the experience itself.
I tend to identify with the realm of the mind, my nature connected lifestyle and increasingly, the cultivation of the soul, the spiritual element in life. But I treasure many useful identifications in my date to day life, while regularly letting them go through meditation and mindfulness.
I also try to keep a big picture, relativist and holistic view on myself and the world, which helps me more consciously consider what is really worth and valuable, and what doesn’t serve me and can be let go.
As Joe Dispenza nicely explains, we can temporarily become no one, no thing, no where and be in no time, easily and simply through a meditation practice.
I am a boyfriend to my partner and a distant son to my aging parents, I have no children. I like my body and love physical activity and sport but I am not vain or strongly identified with the way I look.
I wish to have a small business, create something materially of value and this is an increasingly useful identification for me right now. But I’d say I am naturally identifying with the ethereal, intellectual, symbolic aspect of things, much more than the material.
I like reading and learning, creative writing, Yoga, mysticism and the ephemeral, provisional seeking of truth. I have a predisposition for articulate communication, I love this blog and I am very identified with the place where I live, the very international and New Age Thai island I inhabit for many years.
My identifications are more playful, less absolute these days. The more I learn to be within myself and to develop the inner realm of existence, the less I need the validation or approval of others, the so much coveted attention of the Instagram influencer, the arbitrary and fleeting support of the mainstream.
This seems to bring forth an elevated form of authenticity. I wish to create a more present response to the challenges of life, a more laid back approach to the ups and downs of existence.
True freedom is freedom from identifications, freedom from the ego attachment to the world and to the workings of the mind. This is the ultimate goal of Yoga as well as certain teachings of non-dualism and spirituality.
As I keep this ideal as a point of reference, I aim to further develop my ability to relate to others and especially to connect with the spiritual element of life. This journey of individuation, or self-actualisation is, possibly, the biggest identification I have.