Rafael Nadal is serving on a match point at the final of the Roland-Garros. The audience of 15,000 is still and silent in anticipation. Millions are watching from home, across the globe. If we could monitor his physical response, we would see dilated pupils, accelerated heartbeat and open bronchi, inhibited peristalsis, secretion of adrenaline and noradrenaline. The ball hits the racket for an ace. Nadal is the French Open Champion, the reward system sends a rush of feel good neurotransmitters to his brain, as the crowd cheers he reaches a high state of bliss and satisfaction.
Acute stress is defined as novelty, unpredictability, a threat to the ego and overcoming that can be healthy. Public speaking, wakeboarding, going on a first date are benign, healthy forms of stress or stimulation. They are contained and limited in time, the “fight or flight” response is activated, you are present, focused. Once done your body relaxes and you feel good for it. Even when things don’t go well, you’ll move on pretty quickly.
Your Sympathetic nerves need to be regularly primed and exercised, it’s part of life. The Parasympathetic or “rest and digest” system conserves energy as it slows the heart rate, increases intestinal and gland activity for the body to heal and repair.
What’s the worse pain, superficial and constant or sharp and brief?
A queasy feeling in the stomach, slumped shoulders, shallow breathing, a sudden wave of worry hits the shores of consciousness, recedes and comes back again.
There are days no place is safe. You want to go to bed and bury your face in the pillow but rush here and there instead, doing one hundred things, badly. You feel a powerful need for approval and validation, someone who says everything is going to be OK. Maybe a drink or two will help escape and relieve the pain.
In modern times, a lot of stress comes as a prolonged or repetitive experience of social threat and adversity, a feeling of rejection or insufficiency. It is therefore a psychological state with very physical consequences, it up-regulates components of the immune system called cytokines, involved in inflammation. Keep the fight or flight response switched-on for long enough and various bodily systems will deregulate with serious impact on blood pressure and blood sugar levels.
A prolonged state of high cortisol, the chief stress hormone, might lead to a decreased immune system, migraines, acid reflux and impaired digestion, a lower metabolism, arthritis and chronic fatigue. Changes in serum level of many hormones at worse can lead to Graves’ disease, gonadal dysfunction, and obesity.
Research shows that experiencing chronic stress in childhood results in reduction in size of the brain and epigenetic shifts, predisposing us to be more vulnerable to future stress. Early life issues age us faster and increase the chances to develop chronic conditions.
Modern lifestyles can be very exciting but also more noise and less rest, fewer meaningful interactions, convenience food, a greater influx of toxins, the breaking down of family support, loneliness and many ‘new’ threats to survival. Modern stress can be found in the office where you can’t fight or run away, you gotta stew, until 6pm at least. If you think you live in a democracy, think again. 8 hours a day at least you are in an authoritarian state, where your manager is the Authority, and the CEO the Supreme Chief.
Anxiety can manifest as negative, nagging, disruptive mind monologues against one self or, projecting, against someone around or society as a whole. I won’t do it, I am not capable, I am falling short. There’s not enough time to meet a deadline, I am late again, too busy. The world is dangerous, everyone is against me, people are bad.
When you are stressed you are blind. Blind to the possibilities, to what’s out there or within you that can provide a way out. The big picture is impossible to grasp, everything is short term and narrow. Negative potential consequences are giant monsters of reality, and your nervous system keeps you stuck to them. She won’t like it and leave me, he will not talk to me anymore. I will get fired, end up with no money, no house, no friends, a black hole nothing.
Self medication includes sugar and junk food, stronger stimulants, too much physical activity and pornography. Anything to momentarily spike dopamine or serotonin, feel good neurotransmitters.
But… what is stressful? Often it is not the stressor itself that matters, it is the individual’s internal emotions causing a physical response. What one person may experience as stress, the next person may see entirely differently. Our points of view and models of the world are highly subjective. Predispositions and life experiences make us the way we are and some are very sensitive to negative stimuli from the environment, others less.
My aunt lives in a village in the mountains of Northern Italy. The mail delivery guy from the Italian Post Office of her village was a diligent person. Very dedicated to his job of bringing the mail to his fellow villagers. So dedicated and devoted his wife used to say “My husband is stressed, he has a very challenging job”. To deliver the mail, in an Italian mountain village wouldn’t be my idea of a stressful job. Yet, apparently, old ladies would open the window curtains for a peek and catch him doing his round. Is he 15 minutes behind schedule today? Ahah, he overslept, or indulged over the morning coffee! Would a letter be late or missing? He’d feel responsible for it. Erminio felt monitored and judged, stressed and under pressure.
When you are anxious you are like an old black and white TV with a dirty signal. You can make out what’s going on but it’s annoying to continuously try ignore the disruptive wave on the screen. Similarly stress hurts and confonds. Your reactions are not measured when you are under so much pressure, you stopped having fun.
So what to do about stress? The ability to fend off or reduce it is one of the most important characteristics to make us more resilient and ultimately successful. I could talk about having a relaxation strategy and regular rest time, doing physical activity or breath work, supporting the body with balanced nutrition, stimulating production of serotonin and Vitamin D with walks in nature and sensible sun exposure, having someone to talk to or hug and coming to Koh Phangan to the Smiley Retreat for an awesome wellness holiday. But really, what I want to write is something more.
The ability to change our perceptions of the world and detach from what doesn’t serve us is a great skill. Reality is in large part manifested as a very subjective experience. Which means if we can’t change everything negative happening around us, we can certainly learn to be more in control of our reactions, our emotions. We can consciously spin the perception of reality to make it appear more manageable and benign.
Greater awareness allows us to identify creative solutions to problems. Or maybe, problems are nothing but a dramatic scene in the comedy of life.
Success could mean finding a way to live in line with our own interests and predispositions, closer to our true selves. If we assume this definition of success, everyone should relax, as all there is to do is progressively moving in the direction of greater self knowledge. This means self inquiry, philosophy, contemplation and meditation could be the only true meaningful pursuits in life and ultimately the best antidote to stress.
Yoga is my way to relax, connect with the higher self and make sense of what’s inside. In the microcosm lies a version of the macrocosm. Most stress and dramas in life might be triggered by the environment but actually happen inside us, not outside. Change the way you see yourself and the world will shift with it as you are likely to change your projections too. Transform your attitude and resonance and you might attract more positive people, more favourable situations and happier moments in life.
Maybe chronic stress is just the result of a wrong perception of reality and ourselves in it, leading to a lifestyle that doesn’t fit. Improve your perception of reality, a different lifestyle will follow and you will feel much better.