In Kundalini Yoga, one of my favourite exercises is the Ego eradicator. Raise and straighten both arms at a 60 degrees angle, with fingertips touching the mounds on the palms and apply the breath of fire, a powerful breathing exercise. The thumbs represent the Ego. By pointing them up to the heavens, we aim to go beyond worldly attachments and access our higher selves.
What is the Ego actually? Some spiritual teaching sort of implies the Ego is bad. But is it, really?
In Western psychology the Ego is the component of the personality that is represented by our conscious decision-making process. This already is a minefield: conscious decision making? Do you mean the voice inside my head that tells me what I should and shouldn’t do, or the part of me that actually takes action and gets things done?
According to Freud, the id is the instinctual, biological component and the superego is the social component of our personality and conscience. In a simple form, the id is pleasure seeking and wants to do all sorts of socially unacceptable things. The superego represents our parents, teachers, legal and moral systems etc. created to refrain the instincts of unbounded sexuality, violence and domination which, in some basic form, would make human beings not too dissimilar to chimpanzees or stray dogs.
And the Ego is the mediator, in between the id and the superego. It is constantly negotiating between impulses, passions and desires on one side, and the boundaries, structures, laws and ethical behaviours Society imposes on us for the greater good of the collective and (sometimes) the good of ourselves too.
Why would this in between mediator be bad? It seems rather necessary to me. It is thought humans are the only beings with an Ego, where every other animal is led by the id. Certainly human society superego is a lot more developed and stifling, but also protecting, than any other animal society will ever be.
I don’t think the Ego is bad in itself, not absolutely bad. The conflict between our basic inner desires and our longer term needs and the rights of others, the structure of society, is a fundamental one, possibly the most fundamental. A screaming child who wants to eat all the jam and touch a white wall with dirty hands needs to be tamed, for his own good as well the good of mum and dad. An unmindful man-child playing loud music at 4am, driving at top speed while drunk or urinating in a public fountain isn’t socially acceptable or even dangerous for the collective.
As often, it seems to be a matter of balance. Is your Ego inflated and sharky, canning and manipulating to serve the id? Or is it deflated and timid, humble and obeying to always serve the superego/society?
How stifling can the superego be? The range varies from very strict, disciplinarian parents and the laws of Saudi Arabia on one side, and permissive, laid back folks in Europe or Koh Phangan on the other. And how wild and childish can the desires of the id be? How much money, sex, chocolate… mmm chocolate.
If happiness and well-being are your priority, a healthy compromise needs to be found.
If the Ego always indulges the id, you might notice society comes at you with some pretty bad negative feedback, which will make you suffer. Failure to get what you want, push backs from others or even legal action and, at an extreme, imprisonment will bring pain. But if you yield all your needs and desires to comply with what parents, partners, neighbours, employers and priests want of you, you might negate your basic needs of individuality. Very poor boundaries might bring an equally unhealthy attitude to constantly please and attract exploitative relationships.
This constant negotiating with the 2 extremes of identification is our inherent challenge. Inner wants and desires on one side need to be listened to, as constant repression doesn’t make for a happy life. Rejection, failure and negative feedback from the environment on the other hand, are well known, painful realities too.
If you are out with work on a Friday evening, you had a couple of drinks and someone offers you a double shot of vodka, your id would be all for it. Memories of drunken shenanigans and bad hangovers pop into the conscious radar. The Ego is there to weigh the pros and cons of both and eventually the shot is drunk and the pleasure goes up a notch. Or the vodka is politely passed on and the present moment is sacrificed for future success. In this simple context, what is right and what is wrong to do?
Nothing is absolutely right or wrong, says the philosophy of relativism. Culture and society decide the extremes of right and wrong, everything in between is kind of up to us. Or better, our personal ethics are deeply embedded in who we are and the result of years of life experience and education.
In Tantric Yoga, Manipura, the third chakra, is the seat of the Ego. It is the centre that leads to individual realisation, social identification, personality, and the affirmation of feelings. Associated with fire and the power of transformation, Manipura is physically based above the navel, just below the solar plexus. It is said to govern digestion and metabolism.
Too much energy in Manipura causes excessive importance to be given to the opinions of third parties, the inability to give others space, stubbornness, selfishness and desire for power and domination. It could also lead to a tendency to judge, constantly compare, criticise and blame others.
A decrease in energy in the third chakra might lead to cravings for control, dissatisfaction, depression, irritability, stagnant emotions, envy, procrastination, apathy. If you get easily triggered by the environment, it is a sure sign the navel needs some work. A balanced third chakra leads to a strong sense of self as part of a harmonious environment, can do attitude and courage, trust in intuition, spontaneity, solid personal morals and ethics.
Rather than the complete eradication of the Ego, something that seems wildly unrealistic and maybe impossible, we could aim for a balanced Ego, in touch with inner needs and aware of the environment. A calm and more present Ego can naturally make measured decisions and take actions overall aligned with what we need as individuals and in tune with the culture of the environment.
Ego is not our higher self, not our true self, not us in an absolute way. It is always relative to the impulse of inner passions and the boundaries of the outer world, always moving.
Harmonising, balancing the Ego means finding ways to let go of the voice of the mind, constantly worried, wanting more, shifting from fear to greed, comparing what’s at hand with what we did before, or what might come next.
Transcending the Ego can be done through Yoga, meditation, reaching a state of flow, deep relaxation or ecstatic, intense bliss. States of complete presence and connection or detachment have the ability to calm the inner voice and let go of worries. Such states are inherently transient but very beneficial in the long run. Switch off your Ego for 20 minutes through meditation everyday and you’ll see when it’s up again, doing its difficult, mediating job, the Ego might be more measured, less attached, less jumpy, more serene.
This is what I think Eastern philosophies and Yoga mean by letting go of the Ego. If leading a meditative life is the ultimate goal of Yoga, a meditative life might be one where the Ego is switched off daily for a little while. It is regularly relaxed, harmonised and lightened, yet naturally present for the rest of the day.